The darkness inside

As a follow on from the last blog and the hidden sides of everyone a bit more about my hidden depths.

At the moment the waking hours are consisting of a fight deep inside my mind where both the sides are struggling for domination over me. The light side is so far fighting and losing at every turn and the darkness creeps up and takes me over on an increasing and worrying basis. I sit ok for about 5-10 minutes listening to music or doing something then it hits and i sit here so down and dark losing track of who I am. These periods outweigh the light periods by double at the moment and the fight seems a losing one.

When the darkness hits the world around me loses all meaning and nothing will snap me out of this period until my mind wins the fight again. The fight is taking more and more energy and time to win and the dark periods seem so close to each other now and it is worrying.

I have to see the doctors again in a few weeks and i will let her know it is still as bad and if anything the dark times are increasing and beginning to be all i am at times. This will be a long fight and the end is not in sight as it is lost in the increasing darkness.